Hājar in the House of Rust & Other Poems

The Escape Artist Fitness Plan

She says you have a contortionist mouth, always expressing some twist and holding rigidly
your inflexible poise. She says the nameless things, the things you don’t want called –
the Nameless Things; Grief, Hurt, Fury, and a Tenderness which you Hated like a mother
hates her child. Always of you, no matter how feeble, how poorly grown – mewling,
incapable of giving up the ghost, of granting even that little peace. It has all pursued you
your entire life. These Nameless Things. She says you have the eyes of a person who looks
for all exits, finds all doors and at the first kind word goes hurling themselves out of
windows. Break a body, run – the exorcist wants to educate on How the Whole Make
Love. But oh, the tuck and tug! That fine silver hook sliding into corner of mouth, Love
Love is so small,
so small.

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Gay Boy Blues & Other Poems

Most times,

the pills are multi-coloured
like rainbows after a storm,
It bends me into a dog
licking a hand in the spirit of forgiveness.
This is how I beg my body
for using it like a slave,
for opening it to lonely nights in a brothel,
for making it jump across songs,
for giving it out like a cheap gift,
for cutting it first with memories
then erasing it with glasses of whiskey,
then burning it with fumes of marijuana,
for looking into the ground as water
filled it with drowned bodies.

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Into the Sun & Other Poems

into the sun

Sometimes from up here we watch desert travellers and stretch their dunes, bleed ourselves into their imagination,
say hello,
(or when they say it first, not say anything back.)
If there is anything we’ve learnt about pointless journeys, if there is anything
we haven’t learnt yet, they will find out and tell us
if they get there:

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Two Poems

dans la maladie

I came across it in my dreams and I woke up singing the French for it – dans la maladie, dans la maladie.
A meshwork of metal
Inside the disease
Becoming an illness.
I saw it the next day and it was
All over the place, in pieces.
It must have taken more than strength to pry my eyes open and
collect them, and once there, put it together again, paint it
tell it to relax, try not to kill me.

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